Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The Cross

I started this Toronto Appreciation Tour to make a difference, and it's definitely starting to show.

A few weeks ago we arrived in Montreal. Everyone knows that while the symbol for Toronto is the CN Tower, the symbol for Montreal is its cross, the post modern, post Catholic thing-a-mabob perched atop Mount Royal. I guess you could say Montreal’s Olympic stadium is the symbol of Montreal as well but its been dangerously crumbling for a while now and I don’t want to be inflammatory about such matters.

But back to the cross. I was horrified to notice that Montreal hadn't maintained even the most basic maintenance.

Yes that's right, a bunch of light bulbs were out on the cross. An Irish couple I know who recently moved to Toronto visited Montreal two weeks before I went and they told me that the bulbs were out at that time as well. As such I understood that this situation had been left unchecked for far too long.

"Not good enough," I said to myself, not as a Torontonian, but as a Canadian who has great affection for Montreal in a big brother sort of way. God, or the Greater Power as some call him, agreed as you can see from the lightning in the photos. And no that's not a photoshop job that's real lightning.

In true Toronto style I rolled up my sleeves and got to work, bypassing the wine, jazz and beautiful women as we so often do here in Toronto so that Canada can run smoothly.

That cross is a not only a symbol of Montreal but of Canada and it reflects on all of us. Now, the Toronto Appreciation Tour is always a popular topic for media wherever we go in Canada and I made a decision to leverage our coverage to make some changes.

The day after I arrived I went on This Morning Live on Global television and had four talk radio appearances. At each opportunity I pounded home the message that we as Canadians have to take care to keep up appearances for our international friends that visit. But more than that we have to maintain our cities and tourist attractions for our own sense of dignity and self worth.

Maybe that makes me "uptight" or a "busybody" from Toronto but by goodness when I see something that needs doing I just up and do it.

The immense media pressure I exerted did not go unnoticed. The light bulbs were replaced the next day. It took me 24 hours to get the city to replace those light bulbs and I can't tell you how that gave me a great sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Immensely so.

As a side note here is my hilarious but true joke about Montreal. It is in the spirit of Just for Laughs comedy festival that was on during our stay in Montreal.

Q: How many Montrealers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It takes one Torontonian.

That’s what we do in Toronto, we keep Canada running.

No need to thank me Montreal, thank Toronto and our can-do attitude towards playing hard but also working hard.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aw shit, I heard you on the radio! You need a life, maybe then you won't spend your time counting lightbulbs.

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah. Get laid instead of counting lighbulbs.


9:55 PM  
Blogger Steven said...

Well done. (Seriously.)

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this!

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you really believe the symbol for Montreal is our cross, you have been seriously mislead.

It's not the stupid cross but the fact the bulbs are out and that they have been that way for awhile which represents us accurately.

It says " I know the bulbs are out but we dont give a shit. We dont feel the need to impress you and even if we had to, you're here anyway so we're not doing that bad of a job now are we ? Besides no one cares about the cross, it's just there and quite frankly I just want to watch the Habs, get drunk, smoke a joint, go party and get laid."

Montreal IS hipper, by far. Ask any Torontonian why they're here on a Saturday night on Crescent street "To party ! " now good luck finding a montrealer in toronto thats doing the same and isnt there on a business trip.

It's not its inhabitants that suck (Toronto), it's the city itself. It's aura, it's essence.

It's overly diplomatic, politically correct, business oriented and full of itself. A desperate attempt at continuously struggling to find it's entity only to find the same conclusion. It is exactly the things I mentioned above. Toronto is the self proclaimed center of the Canadian universe. A sad attempt at being Americanized.

It isnt hip, some areas may be but generally, no, it isnt, sorry.

Even Leafs fans have to travel to montreal cause tickets are cheaper here.

Toronto is where you wanna work but Montreal is where you wanna live.

Leafs Suck !

1:27 PM  

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